Letting go...

I've posted such a sad sad entry before...
I guess I owe myself to write an enlightenment for my own closure.

So, I've prayed.
The special prayer for the deceased, shalat ghaib.

I have learnt this prayer since I was in my junior high school.
Yet, still, I need to consult books to refresh my memory again every time I need to do it.
I guess, I should be grateful for that, because it means I seldom have such need to do the prayer...

I couldn't sleep that day.
I tried to distract myself with anything I can think of, but again and again I would be back to square one, remembering Mbah Kakung and feeling... the disbelief.

But then I finally decided that I had to do it...
I need to be at peace...
So I open my books searching for the guide for shalat ghaib.

And... I cant believe how could I forget such a beautiful prayer.

Such an elaborate and complete prayer.
I can't possibly wishing anything better for my grandpa other than those wishes in the prayer.

So, I prayed.
And when I finished
I knew I made such a nonsense with all the crying and denial.

Mbah kakung is surely in a much better place now.
Just like how I wished through the prayer.

all my memories with him are filled with joy, laughter, happiness, love, and everything that warms my heart and thats how Mbah Kakung will always remain in my heart and in my prayer.
yusi sayang Mbah Kakung, peluk cium buat Mbah Kakung