About trying to conceive

I somehow stumbled upon a thread in certain female forum in which the ladies were sharing their stories during their program to conceive. It is Indonesian forum, and mostly the (sad) stories were on how they were pressured from not just families, but everyone in their community. Being constantly questioned on when are they going to have a baby/ why don't they have a baby, criticized for their lifestyle, work etc that "presumably" might cause the lack of baby thereof.

Indonesian has this kind of "friendly" habit to ask someone :
(when you're a student) "when are you going to graduate?"
(when you're graduated) "when are you going to get married?"
(when you're married) "when are you going to have a baby?"
(when you already have a baby) "when are you going to give a brother/sister to ?"

I suppose it's just some kind of chitchat habit. A mean to strike a conversation for us the-ever-friendly Indonesian people. Yet, such topic might hit too close to home for some. Especially when they are indeed concerned about the matter.

Most of them were stressing out over this, and that certainly does nothing positive in helping them conceive. Many then opted out to move out from their parents/family vicinity. And on some, that proved to be a successful strategy in finally conceiving a baby, when they are all under no such peer-pressure.

Reading the thread, I suppose I should feel grateful that I'm not in Indonesia and definitely not under such peer-pressure from my family. So, thankfully I can just mind my own consideration regarding this matter of having the next generation (well, of course my husband's consideration matters too, but he leaves everything up to me, so :P)

I am in no hurry to have a kid. I especially want to be fully prepared when I do have a baby. Thus, so far I want to
1) finish my study,
2) get a stable work,
3) get a stable environment with supports for the baby
4) be fully prepared financially, emotionally, and everything-ly for all the baby's needs.

My plans seem like something that's a bit far in the future to be achieved though.
I talked to my mom, and she noted that sometimes I worry too much about everything. Sure, everything needs to be planned. Yet, that doesn't mean I need to worry too much about achieving all the plans. There's Someone who'd deal with that. All we need to do is doing our best.

And so, she gently always nudged me to not being so rigid to my plan. That in fact I could achieve the steps in parallel as compared to do the steps sequentially.

I understand her point, the biological clock does keep on ticking.
I heard that it's best to have your first child when you're under 30.
And.. I do love to be able to play with my kid in the future. Having a DDR competition with my kid(s) sound fun! Yet, if I'm too old to even jump when they are teenagers, how am I supposed to jump with them?

So, I visited my general practitioner yesterday.
And I got my answers :

- I'm 28, and she thinks that's young. It's super OK if I want to have a baby now or in few years ahead. It's part of woman normal biological cycle and everything will go just smoothly whenever I want to have a baby. After the age 35 (not 30!) there will be certain precautions that might have to be taken, but still it will be just fine. There are plenty babies that were born when their mother was 35 years or older and they are all just healthy and happy, she assured me :D

- She prescribed vitamins for folic acid that should be taken from 1-2 months before planning to conceive the baby. Talk about preparation and planning!

- She prescribed some blood test and pap test to be taken by me before conceiving. The tests can be taken now even though I might plan to have the baby in a year or so. It consists of toxo tests, HIV, rubella, etc etc (will write down the list later). The tests are completely free, fully supported by Italian government. The future father should have such test too, also free.

And so, that's one weight off my chest. I think my plan still be right on track then, even when it's done sequentially.

I'm super glad to know that everything does happen through planning here. The blood tests first, then the vitamins 1-2 months ahead the conceiving plan? I never really knew that.

When I asked about do I need blood test for toxoplasma etc. my mom even said no one in our families ever had such blood test and everything just happened normally and smoothly with all of us :D

Well of course I do want everything to be just normal and smooth, with or without the test. But I'd like to know that I've taken all the necessary precautions and be fully prepared for everything.

And that all of the plannings are fully supported by the government, that's just awesome! I hope someday Indonesian's healthcare plan will have this kind of support too.