I need Antoinette in my life

My childhood sad memories were always reminisced with a little warm fuzzy feeling involved. It's because as far as I remember on my sad times I was always accompanied by my dearest first and best ever companion: a tabby male cat I aptly named Antoinette.

He was just a stray cat before he was with us. He had always been alone and quiet. On our meal times, he'd join us, sitting around us, and occasionally he'd put his paws on my laps or my parents'/siblings for any food that he'd graciously devour even though it was veggies. No meowing ever involved, he just always talked through his eyes. He had a quirky night routine as he would just sit and stare quietly to an empty space in between our corner sofa joint for a long time. We call it his prayer time.

My sad memories were always involving me locking myself in my room. And Antoinette would sit quietly around me while I cried my heart out. I'd caress him, and after some time, I'd know that everything will be alright.

S**t happens. That's life. And if I just suck it up and go on, everything will be alright. Just like his always calm and soothing stare and quiet purr.

Unfortunately as life goes on, and bad things continue to happen too inevitably now and then, I don't have Antoinette anymore in my life now. I can only hold on to my memories of him: the reminiscent warm, and fuzzy feeling when I always have him with me.

Perhaps its the no-fuss attitude of him. His always calm and composed manner. Every time I see him I know he's something I can hold on to. Something that would never change. That he'd always be with me whatever mistake and failure I've made.

May you rest in peace, dearest Antoinette.