Adulthood

By the end of August our apartment contract in the university apartment will be ended. They can no longer support all doctorate students, so we should find ourselves a private apartment to rent.
After weeks of scrutinizing the newspaper ads section,
after all the calls and trips in the hot summer day of Italy visiting each of the candidate apartments,
after some rejection and lots and lots of thinking and thinking,
yesterday we went down town to make our first-ever down payment for our first-ever privately rented apartment.

We talked to the agency lady about the upcoming formal contract that we'll sign,
we signed a down-payment agreement,
we paid the down-payment amount
and we left there freaked out and scared.

What if the lady isn't as nice as she seem to be?
What if this apartment isn't as good as it's supposed to be?
What if we'd find another better apartment later?
What if some unprecedented problems about this apartment come up later?

I looked into J's eyes and I saw all these fears and worries.
I tried to console him: that we have decided this, and come what may.
I told him that I'm freaking out too, and he's supposed to protect me and comfort me.
He said he's in the exact same boat as I am, how very selfish of me to expect that of him.

I guess we both just started to learn to be an adult.
Taking our very first step into the non-student world.

My dearest friend put it very wisely:
problems are what life made of.
That's just life. Problems are the spices of life.
(Masalah itu asam garam hidup; nothing can translate the sentence best I guess)

And I guess, that's just how we should go on, plunge into this adult life. Come what may.