I was fasting when a friend asked me how come I didn't have any lunch that day.
So I explained that I was fasting. Which lead him to think that it's Ramadhan now.
I explained no, but indeed I'm fasting to replace the fasting days I missed during Ramadhan. Because fasting the whole month in Ramadhan is obligatory, but women on period are exempted from it.
He then promptly interjected, "Oh, so you can deal with your mood swings and all the food cravings?"
I spontaneously laughed and said, yeah, we are treated very specially like that in our religion xD
And only then it was dawning on me...
yeah, we, women, do get treated very specially =')
Back then in my middle school I've always got the explanation on why women are exempted from prayers and fasting based on the notion of the impure state we have with all the menstruation blood.
But menstruation is something normal and healthy.
And I think there are much more to be learnt on the reasoning behind Islam's rules
rather than the plain stamping of women as in impure state during that period.
I think I will need to study more about this.
But I know one thing for sure, God loves me,
I'm given all the privilege to deal with all the pain, mood swings and food cravings that I have during my periods,
and i love You so very much too, my dear God, the Almighty.
Thursday, December 01, 2011
Wednesday, November 16, 2011
Signs of winter coming
Growing up in a country with 2 seasons, it's not really automatic for me to adapt to the changing of season in this 4 seasons country.
Just imitating people is not easy, since what's warm for them is cold for me.
So people usually will already be wearing their summer clothes while I'd still be bundled in my layers of clothes.
Then, when they finally wear some layers of clothes, I'd already need even my outer jacket to stay with me even though I'm working indoor.
It's not so bad though, when the change is from winter/spring to summer.
I'd just need to try taking off my jacket, and if I survive,
or if I'm sweating wearing it instead, then it's summer.
Yet, for winter, it's not so obvious, since people would still be happily looking like they are wearing light clothes unless it's snowing already.
So, mental notes for me :
- When you notice the grasses are frozen in the morning
- When 5 minutes waiting the bus feels like forever since your toes are just frozen inside your canvas shoes
- When your hands and lips cracked up from the dry, dry, cold wind
- When dzuhur, ashar, and maghrib and even isha prayers are all done within the range of less than 6 hours.
It's definitely time to buckle up and unpack all the layers of winter clothes.
Snow shoes, thick socks, gloves, head warmer, hand/body lotion, lip balms, are must-haves!
Just imitating people is not easy, since what's warm for them is cold for me.
So people usually will already be wearing their summer clothes while I'd still be bundled in my layers of clothes.
Then, when they finally wear some layers of clothes, I'd already need even my outer jacket to stay with me even though I'm working indoor.
It's not so bad though, when the change is from winter/spring to summer.
I'd just need to try taking off my jacket, and if I survive,
or if I'm sweating wearing it instead, then it's summer.
Yet, for winter, it's not so obvious, since people would still be happily looking like they are wearing light clothes unless it's snowing already.
So, mental notes for me :
- When you notice the grasses are frozen in the morning
- When 5 minutes waiting the bus feels like forever since your toes are just frozen inside your canvas shoes
- When your hands and lips cracked up from the dry, dry, cold wind
- When dzuhur, ashar, and maghrib and even isha prayers are all done within the range of less than 6 hours.
It's definitely time to buckle up and unpack all the layers of winter clothes.
Snow shoes, thick socks, gloves, head warmer, hand/body lotion, lip balms, are must-haves!
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Friend
A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart & can sing it back to you when you've forgotten the words
But, what if the words were meant to be forgotten?
With everything changes, desperate times sometime call for desperate measures..
Flashbacks and nostalgia are all well and nice, but they don't serve the purpose to toughen you up.
They provide comfort and are heart warming.
But reminiscing on them, all the while trying to stay strong and keep on fighting the day,...
realizing how much you've changed...
could be bitter.
or maybe... I was just being bitter.
Friday, November 11, 2011
Name
What's in the name? that which we call a rose. By any other name would smell as sweet;
-shakespeare, romeo and juliet
Or so I thought.
My name doesn't have any particular meaning.
At least that's the information I got from my dad.
I have always been very proud about it though. While this excluded me during my childhood from my friends' brag-fest on whose name has the greatest meaning, I always take comfort in thinking that this unique name of mine gives me the freedom to be whatever I want to be. It lets me define the meaning of the name itself, rather than having it defines who I am supposed to be.
My last name isn't inherited from my family name either, and each of us in our family, has different last names.
I'm very proud of it too. I think it's the best thing you can give to the next generation. No family name, no burdening name. Just let them be whatever they want
Last Eid'ul Adha this belief is a bit shaken though.
As I made new acquaintances to other muslimah around me, I noticed how proud they were when they introduced their name: Fatima, Khadijah, ...
And for the first time I felt a bit inferior...
for not having such pretty names that defines my Islam identity...
Then few days ago I had a brief encounter with a fellow Muslim student that I just met.
After a bit of chitchat he asked for my name. I immediately told him my name while asking for his name too.
He seemed confused though, and asked again for my name.
I just repeated my answer since maybe he couldn't get it.
Still seemed confused, finally he asked: what's your full name?
Although I found it odd, I finally told him both my first name and last name.
A look of relief then shown in his face after hearing my last name.
And he explained he kept on asking it since he knows I must be a muslim, and that he, too, is a muslim, from Bangladesh, before then mentioning his name proudly.
His name means the praiseworthy God's witness in Arabic.
So, ...apparently in some community people do expect you to have a muslim name if you're a Muslim.
ps. I feel touched though. I'm reminded: I do have muslim identity in my last name.
The holy month in Islam on which I was born. And I'm super proud of it :)
Friday, November 04, 2011
K-pop/rock!
Under the piles of all the bubbles and glitters of kpop songs/artists, I found a gem today!
What would you get when you cross GnR/Metallica with DDR and Kpop?
It's NORAZO!
It's such a pity that for us the non-korean we have to rely on the translation to fully appreciate their songs. Because aside from the upbeat rock songs, the hilarious lyrics behind them are their highlight. Not to mention the funny dance! I know I'd be using the superman dance for my morning sport xP
And I'd like to say more about Lee Hyuk, one member of this duo Jo Bin and Lee Hyuk that made up Norano. With his awesome voice that hits high notes effortlessly, the manly facial hair, rock style hair and apparel, now that's a male singer I can deem as eye candy!
Finally now we're talking, Kpop!
I know now whose name I'd say if my Kpop lover cousins ask me who's my fav male kpop idol. Lee Hyuk! Kyaaaaaa! xD
What would you get when you cross GnR/Metallica with DDR and Kpop?
It's NORAZO!
It's such a pity that for us the non-korean we have to rely on the translation to fully appreciate their songs. Because aside from the upbeat rock songs, the hilarious lyrics behind them are their highlight. Not to mention the funny dance! I know I'd be using the superman dance for my morning sport xP
And I'd like to say more about Lee Hyuk, one member of this duo Jo Bin and Lee Hyuk that made up Norano. With his awesome voice that hits high notes effortlessly, the manly facial hair, rock style hair and apparel, now that's a male singer I can deem as eye candy!
Finally now we're talking, Kpop!
I know now whose name I'd say if my Kpop lover cousins ask me who's my fav male kpop idol. Lee Hyuk! Kyaaaaaa! xD
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Adeguato
You know you're a desperate-over-achiever wannabe if it bugs you very much that you got a result : Adequate.
"Uhhh, whaaaa? Why are my cells only in adequate state, not a perfect state?" D:
*reaction when receiving some medical test result*
"Uhhh, whaaaa? Why are my cells only in adequate state, not a perfect state?" D:
*reaction when receiving some medical test result*
Thursday, October 13, 2011
About trying to conceive
I somehow stumbled upon a thread in certain female forum in which the ladies were sharing their stories during their program to conceive. It is Indonesian forum, and mostly the (sad) stories were on how they were pressured from not just families, but everyone in their community. Being constantly questioned on when are they going to have a baby/ why don't they have a baby, criticized for their lifestyle, work etc that "presumably" might cause the lack of baby thereof.
Indonesian has this kind of "friendly" habit to ask someone :
(when you're a student) "when are you going to graduate?"
(when you're graduated) "when are you going to get married?"
(when you're married) "when are you going to have a baby?"
(when you already have a baby) "when are you going to give a brother/sister to?"
I suppose it's just some kind of chitchat habit. A mean to strike a conversation for us the-ever-friendly Indonesian people. Yet, such topic might hit too close to home for some. Especially when they are indeed concerned about the matter.
Most of them were stressing out over this, and that certainly does nothing positive in helping them conceive. Many then opted out to move out from their parents/family vicinity. And on some, that proved to be a successful strategy in finally conceiving a baby, when they are all under no such peer-pressure.
Reading the thread, I suppose I should feel grateful that I'm not in Indonesia and definitely not under such peer-pressure from my family. So, thankfully I can just mind my own consideration regarding this matter of having the next generation (well, of course my husband's consideration matters too, but he leaves everything up to me, so :P)
I am in no hurry to have a kid. I especially want to be fully prepared when I do have a baby. Thus, so far I want to
1) finish my study,
2) get a stable work,
3) get a stable environment with supports for the baby
4) be fully prepared financially, emotionally, and everything-ly for all the baby's needs.
My plans seem like something that's a bit far in the future to be achieved though.
I talked to my mom, and she noted that sometimes I worry too much about everything. Sure, everything needs to be planned. Yet, that doesn't mean I need to worry too much about achieving all the plans. There's Someone who'd deal with that. All we need to do is doing our best.
And so, she gently always nudged me to not being so rigid to my plan. That in fact I could achieve the steps in parallel as compared to do the steps sequentially.
I understand her point, the biological clock does keep on ticking.
I heard that it's best to have your first child when you're under 30.
And.. I do love to be able to play with my kid in the future. Having a DDR competition with my kid(s) sound fun! Yet, if I'm too old to even jump when they are teenagers, how am I supposed to jump with them?
So, I visited my general practitioner yesterday.
And I got my answers :
- I'm 28, and she thinks that's young. It's super OK if I want to have a baby now or in few years ahead. It's part of woman normal biological cycle and everything will go just smoothly whenever I want to have a baby. After the age 35 (not 30!) there will be certain precautions that might have to be taken, but still it will be just fine. There are plenty babies that were born when their mother was 35 years or older and they are all just healthy and happy, she assured me :D
- She prescribed vitamins for folic acid that should be taken from 1-2 months before planning to conceive the baby. Talk about preparation and planning!
- She prescribed some blood test and pap test to be taken by me before conceiving. The tests can be taken now even though I might plan to have the baby in a year or so. It consists of toxo tests, HIV, rubella, etc etc (will write down the list later). The tests are completely free, fully supported by Italian government. The future father should have such test too, also free.
And so, that's one weight off my chest. I think my plan still be right on track then, even when it's done sequentially.
I'm super glad to know that everything does happen through planning here. The blood tests first, then the vitamins 1-2 months ahead the conceiving plan? I never really knew that.
When I asked about do I need blood test for toxoplasma etc. my mom even said no one in our families ever had such blood test and everything just happened normally and smoothly with all of us :D
Well of course I do want everything to be just normal and smooth, with or without the test. But I'd like to know that I've taken all the necessary precautions and be fully prepared for everything.
And that all of the plannings are fully supported by the government, that's just awesome! I hope someday Indonesian's healthcare plan will have this kind of support too.
Indonesian has this kind of "friendly" habit to ask someone :
(when you're a student) "when are you going to graduate?"
(when you're graduated) "when are you going to get married?"
(when you're married) "when are you going to have a baby?"
(when you already have a baby) "when are you going to give a brother/sister to
I suppose it's just some kind of chitchat habit. A mean to strike a conversation for us the-ever-friendly Indonesian people. Yet, such topic might hit too close to home for some. Especially when they are indeed concerned about the matter.
Most of them were stressing out over this, and that certainly does nothing positive in helping them conceive. Many then opted out to move out from their parents/family vicinity. And on some, that proved to be a successful strategy in finally conceiving a baby, when they are all under no such peer-pressure.
Reading the thread, I suppose I should feel grateful that I'm not in Indonesia and definitely not under such peer-pressure from my family. So, thankfully I can just mind my own consideration regarding this matter of having the next generation (well, of course my husband's consideration matters too, but he leaves everything up to me, so :P)
I am in no hurry to have a kid. I especially want to be fully prepared when I do have a baby. Thus, so far I want to
1) finish my study,
2) get a stable work,
3) get a stable environment with supports for the baby
4) be fully prepared financially, emotionally, and everything-ly for all the baby's needs.
My plans seem like something that's a bit far in the future to be achieved though.
I talked to my mom, and she noted that sometimes I worry too much about everything. Sure, everything needs to be planned. Yet, that doesn't mean I need to worry too much about achieving all the plans. There's Someone who'd deal with that. All we need to do is doing our best.
And so, she gently always nudged me to not being so rigid to my plan. That in fact I could achieve the steps in parallel as compared to do the steps sequentially.
I understand her point, the biological clock does keep on ticking.
I heard that it's best to have your first child when you're under 30.
And.. I do love to be able to play with my kid in the future. Having a DDR competition with my kid(s) sound fun! Yet, if I'm too old to even jump when they are teenagers, how am I supposed to jump with them?
So, I visited my general practitioner yesterday.
And I got my answers :
- I'm 28, and she thinks that's young. It's super OK if I want to have a baby now or in few years ahead. It's part of woman normal biological cycle and everything will go just smoothly whenever I want to have a baby. After the age 35 (not 30!) there will be certain precautions that might have to be taken, but still it will be just fine. There are plenty babies that were born when their mother was 35 years or older and they are all just healthy and happy, she assured me :D
- She prescribed vitamins for folic acid that should be taken from 1-2 months before planning to conceive the baby. Talk about preparation and planning!
- She prescribed some blood test and pap test to be taken by me before conceiving. The tests can be taken now even though I might plan to have the baby in a year or so. It consists of toxo tests, HIV, rubella, etc etc (will write down the list later). The tests are completely free, fully supported by Italian government. The future father should have such test too, also free.
And so, that's one weight off my chest. I think my plan still be right on track then, even when it's done sequentially.
I'm super glad to know that everything does happen through planning here. The blood tests first, then the vitamins 1-2 months ahead the conceiving plan? I never really knew that.
When I asked about do I need blood test for toxoplasma etc. my mom even said no one in our families ever had such blood test and everything just happened normally and smoothly with all of us :D
Well of course I do want everything to be just normal and smooth, with or without the test. But I'd like to know that I've taken all the necessary precautions and be fully prepared for everything.
And that all of the plannings are fully supported by the government, that's just awesome! I hope someday Indonesian's healthcare plan will have this kind of support too.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Monday, August 08, 2011
Tentang rasa tomat..
Sebuah percakapan di pagi yang sangat cerah di musim (yang sering terlalu) panas ini dengan seorang kenalan.
Ia adalah seorang ibu separuh baya dari Romania yg telah berpuluh tahun hidup disini. Jadwal bus yg sama tiap pagi mengawali perkenalan kami. Pada jam yg sama ia harus mengawali kerjanya di rumah sakit panti jompo beberapa meter dari kampusku. Dan semenjak ritual pertukaran senyum kami setiap pagi kuakhiri dengan sebuah perkenalan nekat dengan bahasa itali seadanya, pagi kami, ketika kami beruntung dapat bertemu, selalu dihiasi dengan percakapan pendek pengisi waktu.
Pagi ini topik kami adalah mengenai liburan musim panas.
Setelah 4 tahun lamanya tak pulang, tahun ini ia akan mengambil 2 minggu libur untuk menjenguk ibunya, dan tinggal di rumah putrinya yg sudah berkeluarga di Romania.
Komentarku mengenai kawan apartemen lamaku dulu dari Romania yg selalu berbekal daging awetan khas Romania membuatnya bercerita mengenai kecintaannya pada makanan Romania. Ia bercerita tentang betapa semua jauh lebih bercitarasa, segar, dan lebih segala-galanya dibanding Italia; suatu hal yang mengejutkan bagiku yg sangat terbiasa mendengar betapa orang menyanjung-nyanjung semua hasil bumi dan makanan Italia. Ia bercerita tentang rasa tomat yg segar, yang tidak dipanen pada malam hari sebagaimana di Italia. Tentang makanannya yang jauh lebih bercita rasa dan membuatnya amat sulit beradaptasi pada masa awal ia memulai hidup di Italia. Tentang semua hal yg lebih baik kecuali nomimal pendapatan dari pekerjaan disana... hal yang membuat ia sekeluarga memutuskan berpindah ke Italia.
Dan aku terkenang pada tanah airku, yang dalam hal kuliner sangat kubanggakan tiada tara. Akan tetapi menurutku adalah lumrah kuliner Indonesia kuanggap juara dibanding Italia. Dengan segala kekayaan rempah dan hasil bumi Indonesia, yg juga membuat kita terjajah, adalah sewajarnya kita memiliki budaya kuliner yang jauh lebih beragam dibanding negara-negara Eropa.
Oleh karena itu klaim ibu itu mengenai superioritas kuliner Romania, yg notabene negara Eropa juga, kuiyakan dengan skeptisme...
Akan tetapi kemudian kusadari...
Tanah air, bagi setiap orang memiliki romantisme tersendiri.
Rasa tomat Romania mungkin tidak sebanding dengan rasa tomat Roma bila diujikan pada panel internasional. Mengingat tomat Italia, khususnya San Marzano sering sekali disebut-sebut sebagai tomat terbaik di dunia.
Walaupun, boleh jadi, tomat Romania memang benar jauh lebih enak, hanya belum banyak yg mengetahuinya.
Apapun itu... rasa adalah hal yang subjektif.
Dan rasa tomat Romania bagi ibu itu telah dibalut dengan semua nostalgia dan kenangan mengenai tanah airnya, tentu saja tak mungkin ditandingi tomat terbaik dari Roma pun.
Bagiku pun... tidak ada makanan Itali yang bisa kukatakan paling enak. Bahkan juga makanan Indonesia. Karena yg paling enak adalah makanan (buatan) ibuku, apalagi yg langsung disuapkan langsung dari tangannya ketika anak-anaknya yg sudah besar ini dengan manja menginterupsi sesi makan beliau. Rasanya... tak tertandingi :)
Ia adalah seorang ibu separuh baya dari Romania yg telah berpuluh tahun hidup disini. Jadwal bus yg sama tiap pagi mengawali perkenalan kami. Pada jam yg sama ia harus mengawali kerjanya di rumah sakit panti jompo beberapa meter dari kampusku. Dan semenjak ritual pertukaran senyum kami setiap pagi kuakhiri dengan sebuah perkenalan nekat dengan bahasa itali seadanya, pagi kami, ketika kami beruntung dapat bertemu, selalu dihiasi dengan percakapan pendek pengisi waktu.
Pagi ini topik kami adalah mengenai liburan musim panas.
Setelah 4 tahun lamanya tak pulang, tahun ini ia akan mengambil 2 minggu libur untuk menjenguk ibunya, dan tinggal di rumah putrinya yg sudah berkeluarga di Romania.
Komentarku mengenai kawan apartemen lamaku dulu dari Romania yg selalu berbekal daging awetan khas Romania membuatnya bercerita mengenai kecintaannya pada makanan Romania. Ia bercerita tentang betapa semua jauh lebih bercitarasa, segar, dan lebih segala-galanya dibanding Italia; suatu hal yang mengejutkan bagiku yg sangat terbiasa mendengar betapa orang menyanjung-nyanjung semua hasil bumi dan makanan Italia. Ia bercerita tentang rasa tomat yg segar, yang tidak dipanen pada malam hari sebagaimana di Italia. Tentang makanannya yang jauh lebih bercita rasa dan membuatnya amat sulit beradaptasi pada masa awal ia memulai hidup di Italia. Tentang semua hal yg lebih baik kecuali nomimal pendapatan dari pekerjaan disana... hal yang membuat ia sekeluarga memutuskan berpindah ke Italia.
Dan aku terkenang pada tanah airku, yang dalam hal kuliner sangat kubanggakan tiada tara. Akan tetapi menurutku adalah lumrah kuliner Indonesia kuanggap juara dibanding Italia. Dengan segala kekayaan rempah dan hasil bumi Indonesia, yg juga membuat kita terjajah, adalah sewajarnya kita memiliki budaya kuliner yang jauh lebih beragam dibanding negara-negara Eropa.
Oleh karena itu klaim ibu itu mengenai superioritas kuliner Romania, yg notabene negara Eropa juga, kuiyakan dengan skeptisme...
Akan tetapi kemudian kusadari...
Tanah air, bagi setiap orang memiliki romantisme tersendiri.
Rasa tomat Romania mungkin tidak sebanding dengan rasa tomat Roma bila diujikan pada panel internasional. Mengingat tomat Italia, khususnya San Marzano sering sekali disebut-sebut sebagai tomat terbaik di dunia.
Walaupun, boleh jadi, tomat Romania memang benar jauh lebih enak, hanya belum banyak yg mengetahuinya.
Apapun itu... rasa adalah hal yang subjektif.
Dan rasa tomat Romania bagi ibu itu telah dibalut dengan semua nostalgia dan kenangan mengenai tanah airnya, tentu saja tak mungkin ditandingi tomat terbaik dari Roma pun.
Bagiku pun... tidak ada makanan Itali yang bisa kukatakan paling enak. Bahkan juga makanan Indonesia. Karena yg paling enak adalah makanan (buatan) ibuku, apalagi yg langsung disuapkan langsung dari tangannya ketika anak-anaknya yg sudah besar ini dengan manja menginterupsi sesi makan beliau. Rasanya... tak tertandingi :)
Thursday, August 04, 2011
화이팅! Hwaiting!*
I've been in a slump the past weeks (even months...)
now that I realize it, I have even rather abandoned this blog.
That says something about the indicator of my level of happiness I guess?
I'm supposed to complete my research soon, and I've been very much expecting to finally conclude this phase of my life and moving on.
Yet, every approach I made in any directions seems to just again and again hit the wall.
Stuck, stuck and stuck, repeat that in a recursion without any base case, and that's what I've been experiencing with my research.
Such is the life of a researcher I guess, just as my Prof. said, if it isn't hard there's no need for a research for it anyway *cue for a sad laugh*
Few days ago my friend talked about "The Secret". Self-help book and movie that motivates people to envision their dreams and goals, and proclaims that that's the secret to achieving anything that you want.
To be brutally honest, I don't believe in any self-help methods.
I think they all are there to state the obvious: that everything is inside you, and if you believe it and do your best, you can do it!
After all, it's in my religion.
It's sunnatullah, when you want something very much and work very hard for it, you'll achieve it.
Man jadda wa jadda as conveyed by the novel "Lima Menara"
It's the alchemist secret as written by Paulo Coelho.
And such is my view to this self-help method that my friend explained to me.
She motivated me to use this method to envision my PhD completion.
I just smiled,
but I did my thinking...
when I take a look at myself,
..before I realize it apparently I've already lost my view of my goal...
Deep down I somehow already held no belief and hope with the future of this research..
While that's not the reason I'm stuck...
that's the reason I'm in a slump.
Before I realized it I've lost my trust in myself to be able to do well, to stay positive and keep on fighting.
And... just as a final concluding scene usually accompanied by a memorable sound track,
somehow today I found myself checking kpop news and stumbled into news of Super Junior's new music video for it's new album, Mr.Simple(I really love the jazzy beginning. Was somehow hoping that the song would continue like that, it would be awesome!).
And here's Mr.Simple lyrics translated.
Unlike the usual kpop lyrics that I found not making any sense sometimes, this one just hits close to home in more than one way.
it's okay, dear myself, it's okay!
Yesh, my time and day will come soon! When I can finally graduate! *crossing fingers*
yeah... after all it's just that simple... what else can I do anyway?
Well... talking behind their backs, not okay... good for me it's not people that I'm mad of :D
But, hell yeah, I sure always and will scream it out loud when I sing to release my stress!
(Unfortunately, not with Super Junior songs though, rage screams don't seem to fit well with dance and ballad songs I think? xD)
So yeah, I'll keep it simple! What is so hard about this? I'll just have to eat well, sleep well and do well too, that will do!
I pride myself in taking KPOP like a grown up: level headed, objective, and appreciative yet not anywhere near any KPOP dedicated fangirl .
But for this one:
Kyaaaaaaa, SuJu!!!!!! xD
Thank you so much for the perfect timed release of this song!
Hwaitinggggg!
*Hwaiting is Korean-English way to say fighting, to cheer up and motivate people :D
edit : ok, after some more thoughts and the euphoria has passed :
- the lyrics of that songs indeed are still weird at certain points,
- the song itself isn't as catchy as bonamana or sorry sorry,
- the moves aren't very much new, the signature move from sorry sorry is repeated (as a tribute I suppose?)
I still love the lyrics though, that's all my criticism to make the song review balanced I guess :D
now that I realize it, I have even rather abandoned this blog.
That says something about the indicator of my level of happiness I guess?
I'm supposed to complete my research soon, and I've been very much expecting to finally conclude this phase of my life and moving on.
Yet, every approach I made in any directions seems to just again and again hit the wall.
Stuck, stuck and stuck, repeat that in a recursion without any base case, and that's what I've been experiencing with my research.
Such is the life of a researcher I guess, just as my Prof. said, if it isn't hard there's no need for a research for it anyway *cue for a sad laugh*
Few days ago my friend talked about "The Secret". Self-help book and movie that motivates people to envision their dreams and goals, and proclaims that that's the secret to achieving anything that you want.
To be brutally honest, I don't believe in any self-help methods.
I think they all are there to state the obvious: that everything is inside you, and if you believe it and do your best, you can do it!
After all, it's in my religion.
It's sunnatullah, when you want something very much and work very hard for it, you'll achieve it.
Man jadda wa jadda as conveyed by the novel "Lima Menara"
It's the alchemist secret as written by Paulo Coelho.
And such is my view to this self-help method that my friend explained to me.
She motivated me to use this method to envision my PhD completion.
I just smiled,
but I did my thinking...
when I take a look at myself,
..before I realize it apparently I've already lost my view of my goal...
Deep down I somehow already held no belief and hope with the future of this research..
While that's not the reason I'm stuck...
that's the reason I'm in a slump.
Before I realized it I've lost my trust in myself to be able to do well, to stay positive and keep on fighting.
And... just as a final concluding scene usually accompanied by a memorable sound track,
somehow today I found myself checking kpop news and stumbled into news of Super Junior's new music video for it's new album, Mr.Simple(I really love the jazzy beginning. Was somehow hoping that the song would continue like that, it would be awesome!).
And here's Mr.Simple lyrics translated.
Unlike the usual kpop lyrics that I found not making any sense sometimes, this one just hits close to home in more than one way.
It’s just that my personality goes good then bad, so what! There must be times when my performance goes up then down too
It’s okay, it’s also good to rest then keep going, because everything has its time
it's okay, dear myself, it's okay!
Let’s go, let’s go, let’s hurry and go, let’s go back when we are blocked. If it’s too troublesome you feel like dying, just for today let’s play first
Anyway when this harsh world runs like hell, I’m the only one that is worn out. Just wait, just save it, because your day will come soon
Yesh, my time and day will come soon! When I can finally graduate! *crossing fingers*
We are living in this world where annoying things aren’t just one or two, know that too
What is so hard about this? We just have to eat well, sleep well and do well too, that will do
yeah... after all it's just that simple... what else can I do anyway?
If you’re mad, go meet your friend and release it by talking behind their backs (Alright!) Alright
If you’re distressed, sing a song, scream out loud and blow it away (Alright!) Alright, Alright
Well... talking behind their backs, not okay... good for me it's not people that I'm mad of :D
But, hell yeah, I sure always and will scream it out loud when I sing to release my stress!
(Unfortunately, not with Super Junior songs though, rage screams don't seem to fit well with dance and ballad songs I think? xD)
So yeah, I'll keep it simple! What is so hard about this? I'll just have to eat well, sleep well and do well too, that will do!
I pride myself in taking KPOP like a grown up: level headed, objective, and appreciative yet not anywhere near any KPOP dedicated fangirl .
But for this one:
Kyaaaaaaa, SuJu!!!!!! xD
Thank you so much for the perfect timed release of this song!
Hwaitinggggg!
*Hwaiting is Korean-English way to say fighting, to cheer up and motivate people :D
edit : ok, after some more thoughts and the euphoria has passed :
- the lyrics of that songs indeed are still weird at certain points,
- the song itself isn't as catchy as bonamana or sorry sorry,
- the moves aren't very much new, the signature move from sorry sorry is repeated (as a tribute I suppose?)
I still love the lyrics though, that's all my criticism to make the song review balanced I guess :D
Thursday, July 14, 2011
wtf song of the day
So I found myself listening to some much hyped Avenged Sevenfold songs lately.
They aren't popular yet during my high school era, so I just somehow managed to listen to them now.
And while some of their songs with too much growling and screaming disinterest me, I found some nice melodic songs too.
Some with orchestra style arrangement that reminds me of GnR or dream theather (Interestingly enough at some point the ex-drummer of dream theater did indeed play with them).
And as I was enjoying my new found coding sound accompaniment,
some of the lyrics somehow made through my brain... and as I come to understand the lyrics... I started to raise my eyebrows
the song
the lyrics
How psychotic should you be to be able to imagine and write such lyrics? o_O
*disclaimer : I don't really know anything abt music actually, so please ignore if what I'm saying doesn't make any sense :D*
They aren't popular yet during my high school era, so I just somehow managed to listen to them now.
And while some of their songs with too much growling and screaming disinterest me, I found some nice melodic songs too.
Some with orchestra style arrangement that reminds me of GnR or dream theather (Interestingly enough at some point the ex-drummer of dream theater did indeed play with them).
And as I was enjoying my new found coding sound accompaniment,
some of the lyrics somehow made through my brain... and as I come to understand the lyrics... I started to raise my eyebrows
the song
the lyrics
How psychotic should you be to be able to imagine and write such lyrics? o_O
*disclaimer : I don't really know anything abt music actually, so please ignore if what I'm saying doesn't make any sense :D*
Wednesday, July 06, 2011
Of hardworking foreigners
My beloved mom, who might have got the idea of "bule" or foreigners from movies and stories, somehow believed that no foreigners do any hard work.
And amazingly during her 11 days trip visiting us in Europe, no hard working foreigners were in sight. We saw vineyards, farms, factories along our trips, but none of the farmer or any hard working Italian was in sight :D
So, I told her a story about a hard working woman that I know.
Once in a blue moon I decided to ride the early bus to go to my university. It was around 7 in the morning or something.
Morning buses are notorious for being fully packed with students and people in general. I was lucky that I managed to squeeze myself in a corner of that fully packed bus. After the bus picked more people on one of the stops along the way, someone poked me from the back and said, "Ciao, bambina!" (= Hi, kid!)
At first I didn't really recognize her. I always saw her in her light green uniform before. But finally I recognized that she was the cleaning lady in my office, which I featured in this story and this.
I greeted her, and we exchanged courtesies. Since I never saw her getting on the bus from that stop, I asked if she lives in that area.
She told me no, she just finished a job, and now going for another job.
I was amazed. It was quite early in the morning. I was just about to start my work, and she had finished a job already?
I asked her what time did she start her work? She answered, at 5.30.
Seeing that I always see her cleaning up my office when I'm staying late, which is around 8 PM or so, it means she works almost around the clock!
Wow.
To the astonished expression I had on my face she just responded with a shrug,
"Well, that's work."
Shortly the bus arrived in another bus stop and she excused herself to go for her other work.
And, that, my friend, is one hard working Italian lady.
And amazingly during her 11 days trip visiting us in Europe, no hard working foreigners were in sight. We saw vineyards, farms, factories along our trips, but none of the farmer or any hard working Italian was in sight :D
So, I told her a story about a hard working woman that I know.
Once in a blue moon I decided to ride the early bus to go to my university. It was around 7 in the morning or something.
Morning buses are notorious for being fully packed with students and people in general. I was lucky that I managed to squeeze myself in a corner of that fully packed bus. After the bus picked more people on one of the stops along the way, someone poked me from the back and said, "Ciao, bambina!" (= Hi, kid!)
At first I didn't really recognize her. I always saw her in her light green uniform before. But finally I recognized that she was the cleaning lady in my office, which I featured in this story and this.
I greeted her, and we exchanged courtesies. Since I never saw her getting on the bus from that stop, I asked if she lives in that area.
She told me no, she just finished a job, and now going for another job.
I was amazed. It was quite early in the morning. I was just about to start my work, and she had finished a job already?
I asked her what time did she start her work? She answered, at 5.30.
Seeing that I always see her cleaning up my office when I'm staying late, which is around 8 PM or so, it means she works almost around the clock!
Wow.
To the astonished expression I had on my face she just responded with a shrug,
"Well, that's work."
Shortly the bus arrived in another bus stop and she excused herself to go for her other work.
And, that, my friend, is one hard working Italian lady.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Hot hot summer with veil
Summer is here!
Hot hot hot sunny day, and hot short night is coming.
On another note though, it's been twice already that I got commented about my veil by two different old Italian ladies.
Maybe it was because what I wear were of course strikingly different compared to the short sleeved, short skirts/dress/shorts that everyone else was wearing.
They commented on why should I wear such kind of clothes?
It will be much fresher for my head and hair in such weather to leave the head uncovered.
At first I received such comment as... some kind of a criticism to my religion which I hold up high.
But then, after some humbling thoughts.. maybe they just meant well.
They pitied me for having to experience the hot weather under such fully-covering garment.
What they didn't understand is that :
I actually would even lengthen my sleeves if I could so I can cover my fingers from the scorching hot sun :D
Now that I think of it, I somehow thought the same thing too back then in Indonesia when I saw people with niqab. It's such a different notion now that I put myself in those italian women' shoes.
On the thought of covering up though, cotton isn't produced here in Europe as far as I know. Unlike us Indonesian who could enjoy soft, comfortable and cooling sensation when we wear batik fabrics, clothing up here is usually analogous with the thought to make yourself warm. As such, the concept of having cool fabrics to protect you from the sun isn't as well known as the concept of "bare yourself as much as you can so you'll allow the skin to breathe under the sun".
And also maybe because they enjoy having tan skin as much as we enjoy fair skin :D
Well, everyone is entitled to his/her opinion I suppose.
Hot hot hot sunny day, and hot short night is coming.
On another note though, it's been twice already that I got commented about my veil by two different old Italian ladies.
Maybe it was because what I wear were of course strikingly different compared to the short sleeved, short skirts/dress/shorts that everyone else was wearing.
They commented on why should I wear such kind of clothes?
It will be much fresher for my head and hair in such weather to leave the head uncovered.
At first I received such comment as... some kind of a criticism to my religion which I hold up high.
But then, after some humbling thoughts.. maybe they just meant well.
They pitied me for having to experience the hot weather under such fully-covering garment.
What they didn't understand is that :
I actually would even lengthen my sleeves if I could so I can cover my fingers from the scorching hot sun :D
Now that I think of it, I somehow thought the same thing too back then in Indonesia when I saw people with niqab. It's such a different notion now that I put myself in those italian women' shoes.
On the thought of covering up though, cotton isn't produced here in Europe as far as I know. Unlike us Indonesian who could enjoy soft, comfortable and cooling sensation when we wear batik fabrics, clothing up here is usually analogous with the thought to make yourself warm. As such, the concept of having cool fabrics to protect you from the sun isn't as well known as the concept of "bare yourself as much as you can so you'll allow the skin to breathe under the sun".
And also maybe because they enjoy having tan skin as much as we enjoy fair skin :D
Well, everyone is entitled to his/her opinion I suppose.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
Belajar untuk membagi waktu dan memaklumi ketidaksempurnaan
Akhir-akhir ini sedang belajar bagaimana mulai menimbang-nimbang kerjaan dengan power yang ada.
Ternyata mulai kerasa kalo semua pengen ditanganin sendiri gempor juga.
Ibuku tersayang yang begitu mengenal anaknya ini lalu memberikan nasihatnya:
pengen semuanya perfek, bagus sih,
tapi sudah menikah harus mulai bisa membagi-bagi tenaga,
sebagian untuk keluarga, sebagian untuk suami, sebagian untuk diri sendiri.
Nanti kalau udah punya anak juga harus dibagi lagi waktu untuk anak.
Saya pun bertanya, gmn mbaginya?
Ya, ngga persis sepertiga sepertiga, nanti akan ketahuan kok porsinya.
Akhir-akhir ini saya mulai mempraktekkan nasihat ibu saya tersebut.
Mengerjakan apa yang saya bisa dengan tenaga dan waktu saya, mulai mencoba minta bantuan orang lain untuk meringankan kerjaan, mencoba memprioritaskan kerjaan.
Ternyata membiarkan orang lain membantu kita itu cukup menyenangkan :D
Ternyata suatu kerjaan yang kayanya beraaat banget, tidak berat-berat amat kalau dikerjakan tidak sendiri.
Tapi saya juga belajar, tidak lalu semua selesai sesuai standar saya.
Mau diturutin kemauan saya mengerjakan semua sendiri dengan cara saya dan standar saya juga bisa, tapi akhirnya molor-molor banyak yang tertunda, saya gempor, kecapekan, jadi ngga hepi ending juga kan ya..
Akhirnya ya harus belajar prioritas....kompromi...
Don't sweat the small stuff,
ga perfect dikit gpp lah, di kerjaan, di rumah,
lantai ngga licin berkilau tiap hari gpp lah,
makan telor ceplok aja sekali-sekali walo berasa kaya anak kos kembali juga gpp deh, daripada gempor akhirnya ga ada yg selesai?
Hidup ini ternyata benar-benar membutuhkan kompromi ya...
dan saya ternyata baru belajar kompromi sekarang, kemana aja saya selama ini? :D
Ternyata mulai kerasa kalo semua pengen ditanganin sendiri gempor juga.
Ibuku tersayang yang begitu mengenal anaknya ini lalu memberikan nasihatnya:
pengen semuanya perfek, bagus sih,
tapi sudah menikah harus mulai bisa membagi-bagi tenaga,
sebagian untuk keluarga, sebagian untuk suami, sebagian untuk diri sendiri.
Nanti kalau udah punya anak juga harus dibagi lagi waktu untuk anak.
Saya pun bertanya, gmn mbaginya?
Ya, ngga persis sepertiga sepertiga, nanti akan ketahuan kok porsinya.
Akhir-akhir ini saya mulai mempraktekkan nasihat ibu saya tersebut.
Mengerjakan apa yang saya bisa dengan tenaga dan waktu saya, mulai mencoba minta bantuan orang lain untuk meringankan kerjaan, mencoba memprioritaskan kerjaan.
Ternyata membiarkan orang lain membantu kita itu cukup menyenangkan :D
Ternyata suatu kerjaan yang kayanya beraaat banget, tidak berat-berat amat kalau dikerjakan tidak sendiri.
Tapi saya juga belajar, tidak lalu semua selesai sesuai standar saya.
Mau diturutin kemauan saya mengerjakan semua sendiri dengan cara saya dan standar saya juga bisa, tapi akhirnya molor-molor banyak yang tertunda, saya gempor, kecapekan, jadi ngga hepi ending juga kan ya..
Akhirnya ya harus belajar prioritas....kompromi...
Don't sweat the small stuff,
ga perfect dikit gpp lah, di kerjaan, di rumah,
lantai ngga licin berkilau tiap hari gpp lah,
makan telor ceplok aja sekali-sekali walo berasa kaya anak kos kembali juga gpp deh, daripada gempor akhirnya ga ada yg selesai?
Hidup ini ternyata benar-benar membutuhkan kompromi ya...
dan saya ternyata baru belajar kompromi sekarang, kemana aja saya selama ini? :D
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
rules: inconvenience and leniency
I read the news about David Tobing suing the government and PSSI (and NIKE?) for our country's Garuda emblem abuse.
The intention of the action could be good,
after all I don't really want to have our beloved Garuda become just a mere picture that could be randomly located on just any fashion whims. Geri Haliwell's union jack dress might be deemed iconic, but I don't think I want Garuda to be immortalized that way.
But then again, in this particular case the particular Garuda emblem was worn with pride for Indonesian team to go in an international event. And I can't help noticing how that has spurred our sense of nationalism during that event(even though of course this is just what I viewed from afar, based on my mom's report and things I read :D).
Indeed in almost every cases there are always 2 sides of a coin.
Humane rules always have some unnecessary inconvenience.
I live in a rather secluded area, but we need to cross a quite busy street to reach it. So there's a traffic light that would stop the traffic on request if anyone presses the button to cross the street. And every now and then we'd witness a long queue of car waiting for 1 person to cross the street.
This traffic light for pedestrian in an empty street,it is inconveniencing at maybe most of the time. I myself usually always pondered if I could just get away crossing the street without requesting the traffic light. (J caught me doing it once though :D
And so from that point on pressing the button is a must :P) And why can't the cars just pass through once the person who requested it has safely crossed the street, without waiting for the light to turn green. However, allowing this kind of leniency would nurture bad behavior that might at some point endangering the safety.
We, Indonesians, are rather lenient when it comes to rules. But then again, without being too strict there needs to be a certain fine line taken where we should be lenient and where we should be strictly sticking to the rule.
I wonder where's this fine line lies on this Garuda emblem case.
One thing for sure I do want one of those "Garuda di dadaku" shirt to wear and flaunt :P
I love you Indonesia,
Garuda will always be in my heart,
figuratively,
and hopefully literally once i get my hand on one of those shirts :D
The intention of the action could be good,
after all I don't really want to have our beloved Garuda become just a mere picture that could be randomly located on just any fashion whims. Geri Haliwell's union jack dress might be deemed iconic, but I don't think I want Garuda to be immortalized that way.
But then again, in this particular case the particular Garuda emblem was worn with pride for Indonesian team to go in an international event. And I can't help noticing how that has spurred our sense of nationalism during that event(even though of course this is just what I viewed from afar, based on my mom's report and things I read :D).
Indeed in almost every cases there are always 2 sides of a coin.
Humane rules always have some unnecessary inconvenience.
I live in a rather secluded area, but we need to cross a quite busy street to reach it. So there's a traffic light that would stop the traffic on request if anyone presses the button to cross the street. And every now and then we'd witness a long queue of car waiting for 1 person to cross the street.
This traffic light for pedestrian in an empty street,it is inconveniencing at maybe most of the time. I myself usually always pondered if I could just get away crossing the street without requesting the traffic light. (J caught me doing it once though :D
And so from that point on pressing the button is a must :P) And why can't the cars just pass through once the person who requested it has safely crossed the street, without waiting for the light to turn green. However, allowing this kind of leniency would nurture bad behavior that might at some point endangering the safety.
We, Indonesians, are rather lenient when it comes to rules. But then again, without being too strict there needs to be a certain fine line taken where we should be lenient and where we should be strictly sticking to the rule.
I wonder where's this fine line lies on this Garuda emblem case.
One thing for sure I do want one of those "Garuda di dadaku" shirt to wear and flaunt :P
I love you Indonesia,
Garuda will always be in my heart,
figuratively,
and hopefully literally once i get my hand on one of those shirts :D
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Skirts, colours, springtime!
Yesterday, in a usual last minute prep before sprinting catching the bus for an appointment, I couldn't find the veils that I wanted to wear that day. I was wearing an outfit with dark colours so I thought I'd match it with my black veils as usual. But as the time was ticking, I finally resorted to the plain ivory veil that I found in the bottom of my dresser, the only thing that didn't seem crumpled too much xP
And as I donned my head veil, it struck me that it's been such a long time since last I wore light coloured things.
Wow.
I found it rather odd, as I know I do love colours the most. And my colourful collection in the wardrobe would prove it.
I supposed I'd blame it in the winter?
While it rendered the earth all pretty with it's white blanket, it has also stripped it off from colours but white, black, and shades of grays.
People got the cold mood too and dressed in such dull shades.
Sure, here and there some red jacket and shiny skiing jackets colours would pop up, but it's never the majority, not in winter.
But the sun has been very sweet to my city these last few days. No days were without sun rays kissing us. The wind sure still blowing cold as always, but it really helped to see the sun shone during the days. It really feel as if it's definitely springtime coming early!
So, that sunshiny day I finally went out with my flowing skirts and light coloured veil,
and, boy, that felt good! ;D
It felt a bit surreal acknowledging having such feeling just because of one single change of veil colour,
but hey, it's all that little things that matter, and it did work!
And... as I met my prof submitting my work, he asked me what's the occasion today?
To my confused look then he continued that I dressed very elegantly that day.
awww =')
Yay for springtime!;D
So, light up, shine up! It may be winter outside, but let it be always springtime in your heart and mind! (and look ;P)
and so here I am today,
donning my other skirts that I dug up from the bottom of my wardrobe,
I'm loving my style and I think I'll flaunt it for as long as I'm in the mood for it, singing "I want a girl with long skirt and shooooort jacket~~" xP
And as I donned my head veil, it struck me that it's been such a long time since last I wore light coloured things.
Wow.
I found it rather odd, as I know I do love colours the most. And my colourful collection in the wardrobe would prove it.
I supposed I'd blame it in the winter?
While it rendered the earth all pretty with it's white blanket, it has also stripped it off from colours but white, black, and shades of grays.
People got the cold mood too and dressed in such dull shades.
Sure, here and there some red jacket and shiny skiing jackets colours would pop up, but it's never the majority, not in winter.
But the sun has been very sweet to my city these last few days. No days were without sun rays kissing us. The wind sure still blowing cold as always, but it really helped to see the sun shone during the days. It really feel as if it's definitely springtime coming early!
So, that sunshiny day I finally went out with my flowing skirts and light coloured veil,
and, boy, that felt good! ;D
It felt a bit surreal acknowledging having such feeling just because of one single change of veil colour,
but hey, it's all that little things that matter, and it did work!
And... as I met my prof submitting my work, he asked me what's the occasion today?
To my confused look then he continued that I dressed very elegantly that day.
awww =')
Yay for springtime!;D
So, light up, shine up! It may be winter outside, but let it be always springtime in your heart and mind! (and look ;P)
and so here I am today,
donning my other skirts that I dug up from the bottom of my wardrobe,
I'm loving my style and I think I'll flaunt it for as long as I'm in the mood for it, singing "I want a girl with long skirt and shooooort jacket~~" xP
Friday, February 18, 2011
KPOP dance genre
After my first adventure of making a cover dance video was proven to be very fun and the result was pretty entertaining, I got quite hooked up in learning some more dance moves for fun =9
And that's how I was then introduced to the world of Korean pop songs, KPOP.
Thanks to my fellow dance game friends who are apparently such a die hard fans of KPOP, they proved very much helpful in providing my morning workout session with plenty of dance-for-fun materials :D
This super easy and catchy KPOP song was the first one that I learnt (and apparently already copied by indonesian group 5 Bidadari?) : Nobody from Wonder Girls
J is very supportive to this new hobby of mine. Even J could be caught at times humming the songs I was working on and imitating some of the moves xD
Most notably the one with the hand gesture from this "nobody" song expressing "blablabla" xP
Then I learnt this fun dance from the song Genie of the group SNSD/Girls Generation, a group consisting of 9 girls.
Upon me dancing this song's signature leg moves, J commented with cheerfully neighing, horse style, lol
Next was this rather too simple dance but definitely in the cutesy side song : A-ing
Aren't those clothes just adorable! i wanttttttttttt xD
This one dance is super easy and the jumps are nice for cardio workout xP
Although upon checking the lyrics...
these KPOP songs lyrics are just not making sense at times xD
But then, probably some are just lost in translation *shrugs*
Next in my list is the infamous buttdance Kpop song! Mister by Kara.
For this song, I've already got my dad's shiny blue training sweatpants to match their style hahaha xD
And... while I have only learnt the girls songs so far, the kpop boybands also have nice selection of songs!
Truthfully, I'm not very fond with korean pretty boy fab going, so, the ones I like are usually the upbeat ones rather than the ballads.
My absolute favorite KPOP male group is epik high!
I found almost all their songs are very nice to listen to.
This is one of their song that I like : love love love
And for the dance part, this is my most favorite one, from the group Super Junior :
sorry sorry
I think the dance is just fun and very manly! *_*
I'm looking forward to learn that dance, but might not be anytime soon :P
I guess the main point of such dance to be fun is to have ppl to dance with. This Super Junior group consists of 13 people.
If only this was already existed back then during my bachelor degree...
I bet I would have proposed us to dance it for the campus event! hahaha
Learning all these dances got my eyes opened to the this kind of KPOP genre, where it's not only about catchy songs and pretty faces, but also great dances with serious choreography. These singers were reported to undergo really serious and exhaustive trainings to practice and perform their dance routines.
This got me thinking... how come such genre hasn't existed yet in Indoesia?
And... as they said, be careful of what you wish for,
lo and behold, my friend informed me that apparently Indonesia has one KPOP boyband style!
Smash!
My friend told me of how people complained though about them. That their name is just like the korean boyband with the exact same name, that the opening of their song sounds just like Justin Bieber's song, and that their dance routine was copied from some koreans boybands.
But I said, o, come on give it a chance. It's already a good thing that we have a pioneer in that kind of genre.
Yet, upon witnessing their official song music video (MV), I have to admit I shouldn't have put high hopes on them yet ^^
The moves seem not too well practiced yet, and their expression...
I really don't want to be mean, but their expression in the movie was kind of a turn off, really ^^
Probably it's such a tough start for them using this as a debut song. The song is rather in the ballad side and it isn't very helping in providing the dancing atmosphere. Thus they had to come up with that pretty boy style presentation... which is not really my cup of tea ^^
This parody of them even seemed better as they could just be fun in doing it and not having to maintain the "cool" and "charming" (and...seducing? xD) image as the real smash in their MV.
but thennnnnn!
I found that they performed in ITB!
hahaha, oh my dear, beloved campus.
And while their voices aren't... really top notch.. ^^
they looked really enjoying it and having fun with their dance.
And I think that's what missing in the MV.
So.. I guess it's not such a bad start for this genre in Indonesia.
J teased me already when I explained about this to him: "Teheeee, so you like them eh?" xP
well, honestly, no. or at least not yet.
but, hey, really, I'll be looking forward to the day I'd proudly do a dance cover of an indonesian song!
So... let's hope they'd practice their vocal more, and practice their dances more, and...
we'll call it.. .Ipop? will we have any copyright problem with apple product lines? lol
Go forth Indonesian music! ;D
And that's how I was then introduced to the world of Korean pop songs, KPOP.
Thanks to my fellow dance game friends who are apparently such a die hard fans of KPOP, they proved very much helpful in providing my morning workout session with plenty of dance-for-fun materials :D
This super easy and catchy KPOP song was the first one that I learnt (and apparently already copied by indonesian group 5 Bidadari?) : Nobody from Wonder Girls
J is very supportive to this new hobby of mine. Even J could be caught at times humming the songs I was working on and imitating some of the moves xD
Most notably the one with the hand gesture from this "nobody" song expressing "blablabla" xP
Then I learnt this fun dance from the song Genie of the group SNSD/Girls Generation, a group consisting of 9 girls.
Upon me dancing this song's signature leg moves, J commented with cheerfully neighing, horse style, lol
Next was this rather too simple dance but definitely in the cutesy side song : A-ing
Aren't those clothes just adorable! i wanttttttttttt xD
This one dance is super easy and the jumps are nice for cardio workout xP
Although upon checking the lyrics...
these KPOP songs lyrics are just not making sense at times xD
But then, probably some are just lost in translation *shrugs*
Next in my list is the infamous buttdance Kpop song! Mister by Kara.
For this song, I've already got my dad's shiny blue training sweatpants to match their style hahaha xD
And... while I have only learnt the girls songs so far, the kpop boybands also have nice selection of songs!
Truthfully, I'm not very fond with korean pretty boy fab going, so, the ones I like are usually the upbeat ones rather than the ballads.
My absolute favorite KPOP male group is epik high!
I found almost all their songs are very nice to listen to.
This is one of their song that I like : love love love
And for the dance part, this is my most favorite one, from the group Super Junior :
sorry sorry
I think the dance is just fun and very manly! *_*
I'm looking forward to learn that dance, but might not be anytime soon :P
I guess the main point of such dance to be fun is to have ppl to dance with. This Super Junior group consists of 13 people.
If only this was already existed back then during my bachelor degree...
I bet I would have proposed us to dance it for the campus event! hahaha
Learning all these dances got my eyes opened to the this kind of KPOP genre, where it's not only about catchy songs and pretty faces, but also great dances with serious choreography. These singers were reported to undergo really serious and exhaustive trainings to practice and perform their dance routines.
This got me thinking... how come such genre hasn't existed yet in Indoesia?
And... as they said, be careful of what you wish for,
lo and behold, my friend informed me that apparently Indonesia has one KPOP boyband style!
Smash!
My friend told me of how people complained though about them. That their name is just like the korean boyband with the exact same name, that the opening of their song sounds just like Justin Bieber's song, and that their dance routine was copied from some koreans boybands.
But I said, o, come on give it a chance. It's already a good thing that we have a pioneer in that kind of genre.
Yet, upon witnessing their official song music video (MV), I have to admit I shouldn't have put high hopes on them yet ^^
The moves seem not too well practiced yet, and their expression...
I really don't want to be mean, but their expression in the movie was kind of a turn off, really ^^
Probably it's such a tough start for them using this as a debut song. The song is rather in the ballad side and it isn't very helping in providing the dancing atmosphere. Thus they had to come up with that pretty boy style presentation... which is not really my cup of tea ^^
This parody of them even seemed better as they could just be fun in doing it and not having to maintain the "cool" and "charming" (and...seducing? xD) image as the real smash in their MV.
but thennnnnn!
I found that they performed in ITB!
hahaha, oh my dear, beloved campus.
And while their voices aren't... really top notch.. ^^
they looked really enjoying it and having fun with their dance.
And I think that's what missing in the MV.
So.. I guess it's not such a bad start for this genre in Indonesia.
J teased me already when I explained about this to him: "Teheeee, so you like them eh?" xP
well, honestly, no. or at least not yet.
but, hey, really, I'll be looking forward to the day I'd proudly do a dance cover of an indonesian song!
So... let's hope they'd practice their vocal more, and practice their dances more, and...
we'll call it.. .Ipop? will we have any copyright problem with apple product lines? lol
Go forth Indonesian music! ;D
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Kübler-Ross model
Wikipedia of the five stages of grief
I kept on hearing about this five stages of grief referred in movies and things I read/watched. But only now I finally really read the wiki and found that it's originally written specially on how people deal with death or fatal illness.
While it's not scientifically proven, thus more of an empirical theory I suppose,
yet, I guess it's relevant for all kind of grief...
at least when I see myself,
and how I deal with my problems,
I could match my behaviours with all those five stages...
and the depression phases were usually the worst.
I guess I'm looking forward to my maturity stage to be able to directly leap to the fifth part every time I face my problem...
I kept on hearing about this five stages of grief referred in movies and things I read/watched. But only now I finally really read the wiki and found that it's originally written specially on how people deal with death or fatal illness.
While it's not scientifically proven, thus more of an empirical theory I suppose,
yet, I guess it's relevant for all kind of grief...
at least when I see myself,
and how I deal with my problems,
I could match my behaviours with all those five stages...
and the depression phases were usually the worst.
I guess I'm looking forward to my maturity stage to be able to directly leap to the fifth part every time I face my problem...
Tuesday, February 01, 2011
What gets you up in the morning?
Some days it's the deadline, or appointments with the professors,
that's usually the most effective waking up motivation yet the most dreaded one.
some days it's because I can't wait to learn a new dance routine ;P
some days it's because I've been craving for certain snack to have as breakfast since the night before xP
but the worst day is when I woke up just feel nothing at all...
in those days then some pick-me-up efforts are needed,
a long nostalgic conversation with old friends,
little sweet treats for lunch,
a chat with the bus driver who turned out recognized your daily schedule (oh the joy of living in a small town <3)
hey, you all,
thanks for brightening my day! =D
that's usually the most effective waking up motivation yet the most dreaded one.
some days it's because I can't wait to learn a new dance routine ;P
some days it's because I've been craving for certain snack to have as breakfast since the night before xP
but the worst day is when I woke up just feel nothing at all...
in those days then some pick-me-up efforts are needed,
a long nostalgic conversation with old friends,
little sweet treats for lunch,
a chat with the bus driver who turned out recognized your daily schedule (oh the joy of living in a small town <3)
hey, you all,
thanks for brightening my day! =D
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Change of habit
Back then, upon having nightmares, I used to wake up screaming calling my mom.
When I was young, that action would have successfully summonned my mom to come to my room and comfort me until I fall asleep again...
or granted me the permission to sleep in her room hahaha.
Then I grew up,
living in a dorm away from home for my high school and university.
The habit remained, though.
The resolution of nightmares would have still been waking up calling her.
But she couldn't hear me and come to me, of course.
So I'd have had to wait until it's morning before I went to the public phone (wartel? Is such thing still existing now with everyone having cellphones now in Indonesia?) to call her.
Then I moved further away, across the continents.
Yet I still remember waking up screaming "Ibuuuu" during my master degree years :D
Praise God for the technology as then I had already have my cellphone. So I would have texted her instead, and called her if I was lucky to have a calling card on hand.
Last night I had a horrible nightmare again...
But now all I had to do was rolling over to his side of the bed,
"J, J, J, I had a nightmare... I couldn't sleep",
nestled my head in the warmth of his side, holding his hand, and I'm all safe and golden.
ooo, my kuingkuing, how I love you =')
When I was young, that action would have successfully summonned my mom to come to my room and comfort me until I fall asleep again...
or granted me the permission to sleep in her room hahaha.
Then I grew up,
living in a dorm away from home for my high school and university.
The habit remained, though.
The resolution of nightmares would have still been waking up calling her.
But she couldn't hear me and come to me, of course.
So I'd have had to wait until it's morning before I went to the public phone (wartel? Is such thing still existing now with everyone having cellphones now in Indonesia?) to call her.
Then I moved further away, across the continents.
Yet I still remember waking up screaming "Ibuuuu" during my master degree years :D
Praise God for the technology as then I had already have my cellphone. So I would have texted her instead, and called her if I was lucky to have a calling card on hand.
Last night I had a horrible nightmare again...
But now all I had to do was rolling over to his side of the bed,
"J, J, J, I had a nightmare... I couldn't sleep",
nestled my head in the warmth of his side, holding his hand, and I'm all safe and golden.
ooo, my kuingkuing, how I love you =')
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Virtual footprints
I was checking on a web forum of a game that I used to play when I stumbled upon an old thread that got bumped up. It was an almost 2 years old thread.
A tribute to a deceased fellow gamer that everyone loved so dearly...
What was meant to be as a quick skimming and browsing session between work became something more then when the gamer's real name and education background rang a bell.
NTU engineering student, David.
It took only few milliseconds then to connect the dots between these two facts:
the infamous mysterious case of the death of an Indonesian student in Singapore and
this gamer of whom that thread was dedicated to.
I did read plenty of articles regarding the case back then. Of how there are plenty misinformation seem to happen, scenarios that didn't make any sense,...
I remembered how my impression of him was mostly what was painted by the media: he's a student in his last year, had a bit of problem with his study, a gamer, like to spend time in front of his PC...
But now, realizing he played the exact game I played, and reading his fellow gamers account of him in that thread... it seems so real now.
Everyone portrayed him as a cheerful, outgoing, helpful person. And I can see how that could indeed be the case in that game.
And reading through the long threads, where everyone described him very differently compared to all the media portrayal of him that I had read before,
painted an entirely different character of him in my head.
it's his virtual footprints...
no one in the thread seemed to have met him in real life.
But he touched their life just the same.
Everything happens online might be entirely unreal..
fake characters, fake stories,
but it's all real people behind all of those...
And when you did touch someone's heart.. it's not a virtual heart that you've left your impression on...
I wonder if I have left certain virtual footprints to my gaming fellow...
R.I.P for David Hartanto Widjaja
A tribute to a deceased fellow gamer that everyone loved so dearly...
What was meant to be as a quick skimming and browsing session between work became something more then when the gamer's real name and education background rang a bell.
NTU engineering student, David.
It took only few milliseconds then to connect the dots between these two facts:
the infamous mysterious case of the death of an Indonesian student in Singapore and
this gamer of whom that thread was dedicated to.
I did read plenty of articles regarding the case back then. Of how there are plenty misinformation seem to happen, scenarios that didn't make any sense,...
I remembered how my impression of him was mostly what was painted by the media: he's a student in his last year, had a bit of problem with his study, a gamer, like to spend time in front of his PC...
But now, realizing he played the exact game I played, and reading his fellow gamers account of him in that thread... it seems so real now.
Everyone portrayed him as a cheerful, outgoing, helpful person. And I can see how that could indeed be the case in that game.
And reading through the long threads, where everyone described him very differently compared to all the media portrayal of him that I had read before,
painted an entirely different character of him in my head.
it's his virtual footprints...
no one in the thread seemed to have met him in real life.
But he touched their life just the same.
Everything happens online might be entirely unreal..
fake characters, fake stories,
but it's all real people behind all of those...
And when you did touch someone's heart.. it's not a virtual heart that you've left your impression on...
I wonder if I have left certain virtual footprints to my gaming fellow...
R.I.P for David Hartanto Widjaja
Monday, January 24, 2011
wkwkwkwk...
So, I noticed that's the up-to-date style of expressing laugh in indonesian texts lately.
It just I can't help but reading it as wakwakwakwakwakwakwak (sounds like: quack quack quack quack quack quack ) with some duck mimicking expression xP
It just I can't help but reading it as wakwakwakwakwakwakwak (sounds like: quack quack quack quack quack quack ) with some duck mimicking expression xP
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Comparing Indonesia to Italy.
If Italy were your home instead of Indonesia you would...
spend 31.1 times more money on health care
use 10 times more electricity
make 6.6 times more money
consume 3.4 times more oil
have a 81.31% lesser chance af dying in infancy
have 56.59% fewer babies
live 9.28 years longer
experience 18.78% less of a class divide
be 100% more likely to have HIV/AIDS
have a 2.6% better chance at being employed
Comparing Indonesia to Italy.
gyahahaha, 100% chance in contracting AIDS? o_O
so......... I'd have had AIDS already now? o_o
spend 31.1 times more money on health care
use 10 times more electricity
make 6.6 times more money
consume 3.4 times more oil
have a 81.31% lesser chance af dying in infancy
have 56.59% fewer babies
live 9.28 years longer
experience 18.78% less of a class divide
be 100% more likely to have HIV/AIDS
have a 2.6% better chance at being employed
Comparing Indonesia to Italy.
gyahahaha, 100% chance in contracting AIDS? o_O
so......... I'd have had AIDS already now? o_o
Thursday, January 13, 2011
No news is good news
My mom believes in such saying.
And so.. usually I would never heard of anyone get sick or anything unless they have recovered. Then my mom would casually mention it during our weekly conversation..
"oh.. _someone_ was sick a bit back then.. but he/she is ok now."
Being away, and only relying on weekly contacts with home... that sometimes make me feel... excluded.
But then the reasoning my mom have for it has it's own merits too. As I'm such a worrywart (and I know my mom sure knows me better) a bit of bad news could indeed throw my daily routine to a mess.
But still... I think I deserve to know when there's something happen to my loved ones...
I guess I just don't know where am I standing with regards to that saying.
And so.. usually I would never heard of anyone get sick or anything unless they have recovered. Then my mom would casually mention it during our weekly conversation..
"oh.. _someone_ was sick a bit back then.. but he/she is ok now."
Being away, and only relying on weekly contacts with home... that sometimes make me feel... excluded.
But then the reasoning my mom have for it has it's own merits too. As I'm such a worrywart (and I know my mom sure knows me better) a bit of bad news could indeed throw my daily routine to a mess.
But still... I think I deserve to know when there's something happen to my loved ones...
I guess I just don't know where am I standing with regards to that saying.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Hugs and kisses
So, I seem to have the penchant for losing my stuffs somehow ^^;;>
Right after posting about my (unknowingly) lost winter gloves, just yesterday I managed to lose my wallet :D
After realizing that my wallet was nowhere to be found on the bus going home, I just went back to my campus and re-traced my route from the morning. Post office, campus, then the research center where I worked.
It was already late, and it's winter night, so it's all dark and cold and everyone mostly had gone back to their home. In my research center, the last place that I checked, I still couldn't find my wallet in my desk and working area. The office was empty except for one of my friend who always prefers work late and the cleaning ladies doing their job.
On my way out I asked one of the cleaning lady I passed if she might have seen my wallet somewhere. She responded no, then she called her friend, who also didn't see my wallet.
I have to say I did already expect it, was just trying to ask, since, well, there's nothing to lose anyway. So I just said it's ok and thanked them.
But then the lady proceeded to approach me...
and pat me in the head...
and hugged me...
and kissed my cheek...
comforting me
awwww =')
I honestly didn't expect that.
I was kinda taken aback actually that I guess I might have not hugged her back very well. Sorry >_<
But... it felt really nice to be hugged =')
And I'm very thankful to experience such affectionate display of empathy from a stranger with whom I usually only exchanged smiles as I passed by.
I guess that's Italy for you <3
Right after posting about my (unknowingly) lost winter gloves, just yesterday I managed to lose my wallet :D
After realizing that my wallet was nowhere to be found on the bus going home, I just went back to my campus and re-traced my route from the morning. Post office, campus, then the research center where I worked.
It was already late, and it's winter night, so it's all dark and cold and everyone mostly had gone back to their home. In my research center, the last place that I checked, I still couldn't find my wallet in my desk and working area. The office was empty except for one of my friend who always prefers work late and the cleaning ladies doing their job.
On my way out I asked one of the cleaning lady I passed if she might have seen my wallet somewhere. She responded no, then she called her friend, who also didn't see my wallet.
I have to say I did already expect it, was just trying to ask, since, well, there's nothing to lose anyway. So I just said it's ok and thanked them.
But then the lady proceeded to approach me...
and pat me in the head...
and hugged me...
and kissed my cheek...
comforting me
awwww =')
I honestly didn't expect that.
I was kinda taken aback actually that I guess I might have not hugged her back very well. Sorry >_<
But... it felt really nice to be hugged =')
And I'm very thankful to experience such affectionate display of empathy from a stranger with whom I usually only exchanged smiles as I passed by.
I guess that's Italy for you <3
Saturday, January 08, 2011
Kisah sepasang sarung tangan...
Alkisah pada suatu pagi yang dingin, hujan dan terburu-buru,
ketika ketinggalan bis beberapa detik saja berarti terlambat memenuhi janji saya menemui dosen,
maka berlarilah saya dengan kecepatan yang diusahakan meminimalkan kemungkinan terpeleset bekas salju bercampur hujan sambil tetap memaksimalkan peluang mencapai halte bis tepat waktu.
Pada kecepatan konstan lariku itulah tiba-tiba ekor mataku mendeteksi suatu berwarna hitam yang tersangkut di pagar trotoar jalan yang kulintasi.
Dan sampai saat ini saya masih mengagumi refleks motorik saya yang bertindak saat itu.
Sebelum otak saya bahkan sempat mengajukan salah satu dari pertanyaan 5W dan 1H mengenai benda yang dideteksi ekor mata saya itu, saya tiba-tiba telah memandangi benda hitam, basah, tebal, bergaris-garis itu yang sekarang telah berpindah ke tangan saya, di depan mata saya... sambil tetap berlari dengan kecepatan yang sama.
Dan... benda itu ternyata adalah...
sepasang sarung tangan saya :D
Ibu saya membelikan sarung tangan rajutan hitam tebal dengan garis abu-abu itu di pasar tanah abang tiga tahun lalu... dijual satu set dengan syal yang setelah dilipat dua tingginya sama dengan saya. Saya sangat menyukai syal dan sarung tangan itu. Selain karena memang itu satu-satunya syal tebal yg saya punya, juga karena warnanya match dengan jaket saya :D
Syalnya sedang saya pakai saat itu. Tapi saya mengenakan sarung tangan lain yang walau tidak matching tapi mampu melindungi tangan saya dari kejamnya hawa musim dingin. Saya terpaksa memakai sarung tangan lain itu selama beberapa hari terakhir karena saya tidak bisa menemukan sarung tangan saya yang satu set dengan syal tersebut.
Setelah sampai di halte dan saya lepas dari keterkejutan saya atas kesaktian gerak motorik saya barulah saya bisa berfikir....sekarang saya tahu sebabnya saya tidak dapat menemukan sarung tangan itu di rumah :D
dan saya hanya bisa berucap, Alhamdulillah.
Rupanya sarung tangan ini, Alhamdulillah, masih menjadi rezeki saya.
Dan.. menceloslah hati saya...
Subhanallah, Tuhanku yang Maha Pengasih, yang mengatur rezeki seluruh makhlukNya. Yang menjagakan sarung tangan saya sampai kembali pada tangan saya meskipun saya bahkan tidak menyadari saya sempat kehilangan benda tersebut beberapa hari pada tikungan jalan yang ramai.
Dan sontak saat itu saya malu hati...
Semenjak beberapa hari sebelumnya pikiran saya dirundung risau berkepanjangan memandangi hidup saya.
Ini adalah tahun terakhir saya kuliah, tahun terakhir saya dibiayai beasiswa, tahun terakhir saya bisa berlindung di balik tameng kemahasiswaan saya.
Sejauh masa perjalanan hidup saya ini, saya hanya tahu tentang sekolah. Dan Alhamdulillah sambil sekolah itu ternyata hidup dan sekolah saya ditanggung oleh
pihak-pihak di sekitar saya: pertama orang tua, kemudian pemberi beasiswa, dan universitas.
Memikirkan tahun terakhir saya ini, saya merisaukan apa yang mesti saya perbuat setelah lulus saya nanti. Saya seharusnya sudah dewasa... mampu berdiri sendiri. Tapi saya baru menyadari saya sama sekali tidak mempunyai bayangan apa yang harus saya lakukan untuk menyokong hidup saya.
Dan kengerian mengenai hal yang tak saya ketahui itu menghantui saya.
Risau saya berkepanjangan, tidur tak nyenyak, fikiran saya selalu penuh kekhawatiran saya tidak akan bisa hidup paska menjadi PhD.
Namun insiden kembalinya sarung tangan di pagi hari itu tiba-tiba menyadarkan saya...
Subhanallah, mengapa saya sampai lupa tentang Sang Pencipta yang telah mengatur rezeki bagi semua?
Pagi itu saya menemukan kedamaian...
Saya masih tidak tahu bagaimana hidup saya nanti setelah lulus.
Tapi sebagaimana Allah menjagakan sarung tangan yang Alhamdulillah masih menjadi rezeki saya itu untuk saya, insya Allah apabila saya tetap berusaha sebaik-baiknya melakukan apa yang saya bisa dengan niat di jalan-Nya, insya Allah saya mampu menjemput rezeki yang telah digariskan-Nya untuk saya.
ketika ketinggalan bis beberapa detik saja berarti terlambat memenuhi janji saya menemui dosen,
maka berlarilah saya dengan kecepatan yang diusahakan meminimalkan kemungkinan terpeleset bekas salju bercampur hujan sambil tetap memaksimalkan peluang mencapai halte bis tepat waktu.
Pada kecepatan konstan lariku itulah tiba-tiba ekor mataku mendeteksi suatu berwarna hitam yang tersangkut di pagar trotoar jalan yang kulintasi.
Dan sampai saat ini saya masih mengagumi refleks motorik saya yang bertindak saat itu.
Sebelum otak saya bahkan sempat mengajukan salah satu dari pertanyaan 5W dan 1H mengenai benda yang dideteksi ekor mata saya itu, saya tiba-tiba telah memandangi benda hitam, basah, tebal, bergaris-garis itu yang sekarang telah berpindah ke tangan saya, di depan mata saya... sambil tetap berlari dengan kecepatan yang sama.
Dan... benda itu ternyata adalah...
sepasang sarung tangan saya :D
Ibu saya membelikan sarung tangan rajutan hitam tebal dengan garis abu-abu itu di pasar tanah abang tiga tahun lalu... dijual satu set dengan syal yang setelah dilipat dua tingginya sama dengan saya. Saya sangat menyukai syal dan sarung tangan itu. Selain karena memang itu satu-satunya syal tebal yg saya punya, juga karena warnanya match dengan jaket saya :D
Syalnya sedang saya pakai saat itu. Tapi saya mengenakan sarung tangan lain yang walau tidak matching tapi mampu melindungi tangan saya dari kejamnya hawa musim dingin. Saya terpaksa memakai sarung tangan lain itu selama beberapa hari terakhir karena saya tidak bisa menemukan sarung tangan saya yang satu set dengan syal tersebut.
Setelah sampai di halte dan saya lepas dari keterkejutan saya atas kesaktian gerak motorik saya barulah saya bisa berfikir....sekarang saya tahu sebabnya saya tidak dapat menemukan sarung tangan itu di rumah :D
dan saya hanya bisa berucap, Alhamdulillah.
Rupanya sarung tangan ini, Alhamdulillah, masih menjadi rezeki saya.
Dan.. menceloslah hati saya...
Subhanallah, Tuhanku yang Maha Pengasih, yang mengatur rezeki seluruh makhlukNya. Yang menjagakan sarung tangan saya sampai kembali pada tangan saya meskipun saya bahkan tidak menyadari saya sempat kehilangan benda tersebut beberapa hari pada tikungan jalan yang ramai.
Dan sontak saat itu saya malu hati...
Semenjak beberapa hari sebelumnya pikiran saya dirundung risau berkepanjangan memandangi hidup saya.
Ini adalah tahun terakhir saya kuliah, tahun terakhir saya dibiayai beasiswa, tahun terakhir saya bisa berlindung di balik tameng kemahasiswaan saya.
Sejauh masa perjalanan hidup saya ini, saya hanya tahu tentang sekolah. Dan Alhamdulillah sambil sekolah itu ternyata hidup dan sekolah saya ditanggung oleh
pihak-pihak di sekitar saya: pertama orang tua, kemudian pemberi beasiswa, dan universitas.
Memikirkan tahun terakhir saya ini, saya merisaukan apa yang mesti saya perbuat setelah lulus saya nanti. Saya seharusnya sudah dewasa... mampu berdiri sendiri. Tapi saya baru menyadari saya sama sekali tidak mempunyai bayangan apa yang harus saya lakukan untuk menyokong hidup saya.
Dan kengerian mengenai hal yang tak saya ketahui itu menghantui saya.
Risau saya berkepanjangan, tidur tak nyenyak, fikiran saya selalu penuh kekhawatiran saya tidak akan bisa hidup paska menjadi PhD.
Namun insiden kembalinya sarung tangan di pagi hari itu tiba-tiba menyadarkan saya...
Subhanallah, mengapa saya sampai lupa tentang Sang Pencipta yang telah mengatur rezeki bagi semua?
Pagi itu saya menemukan kedamaian...
Saya masih tidak tahu bagaimana hidup saya nanti setelah lulus.
Tapi sebagaimana Allah menjagakan sarung tangan yang Alhamdulillah masih menjadi rezeki saya itu untuk saya, insya Allah apabila saya tetap berusaha sebaik-baiknya melakukan apa yang saya bisa dengan niat di jalan-Nya, insya Allah saya mampu menjemput rezeki yang telah digariskan-Nya untuk saya.
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